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I Hate Chile And Live In New Mexico

By avesper 12/09/2014

Albuquerque News

WHAT? You don't like green chile? How about red? No? 

Well we didn't know those people existed but in fact, they do. They are a rare breed in this state and they have tried to perfect the art of getting out of having to ingest our delicious state delicacy. Here are a couple scenarios New Mexico chile haters have all found themselves in:

#1: When your friend tells you to try "a bite" of their cheese burger but it's loaded with green chile

We all go out to grab a bite with a friend every now and then. Have you ever been to a restaurant in New Mexico without the menu items featuring a red or green chile option for everything? Didn't think so.  

Try telling your friend: "My doctor told me I have to lay off the spicy foods for a while." That probably won't work but it's worth a shot. 

Or go with the extreme, "I'm allergic" and pretend like it really makes life really devastating.  

#2: When you receive a free package of red chile powder

Red chile powder is a common gift for the holidays here in New Mexico. So if someone wants to give you a bag of Red Chile Powder, just reply with "Thank you" and promptly try to re-gift.

#3: When the waitress/waiter at the restaurant asks you the infamous, "Red or Green?" question

When someone asks you "red or green?" it's not a question you want to answer out loud. Most likely, at this particular moment in your head you are replying with, "Neither." Either way, you are about to be judged for not liking chile by everyone including the waitress/waiter. 

So why not reply with: "I'll have green on the side" and pray no one notices when you don't touch it throughout the entire meal.

#4: Buy merchandise with a chile pepper decal on it

ChileMonster.com

No one can judge you now...

...well except maybe yourself. 

#5: Bring a New Mexican dish to a party and put red or green chile in it

An excellent way to escape impending, "You don't like chile???" question is to bring a chile dish with you to the next house party you attend. 

Even if all the while you are cooking it, you think it looks like this:

Well you tried. Just keep passing around the bottle of wine. 

#6: Be Honest

Chances are that if you are not originally from the "Land of Enchantment", then you might not like our yummy, delicious, spicy red and green chile. You can be brave and go the "I don't like it" route, just know we warned you.

But don't fret! If you don't like red or green chile now it tends to grow on you. I swear, before you know it you will be craving a carne adovada burrito and cup of green chile strew.

So Enjoy!