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The Seven Deadly Sins Albuquerqueans Commit During Halloween

Religious or not, you know right from wrong, right?  And you do know that there are seven deadly sins that are scoffed at from above and cheered on from below. Every occasion gives us Albuquerqueans a chance to be good or bad. And Halloween, already with its innate sense of evil, encourages us to be at our worst. 

But be careful. You are being watched. 

1. Lust--To have an intense desire or need

No, you can't raid your kids' stash again this year.  Remember how guilty you felt last year when they found you at 2 am post-Halloween on the toilet with their candy? Go get your own!  

2. Gluttony--excess in eating and drinking

You couldn't stop yourself, could you?  All that candy (for the trick and treaters) that you bought at Walmart and you couldn't leave your hands off it! 

Now what are you going to do when those angelic kids come knocking on your door?

3. Greed--excessive or reprehensible acquisitiveness

So you listened to your kid and let him go to one last house near Uptown. And see what he got? Chased away by a dog. I hope you've both learned your lesson about wanting too much than you already have.

4. Sloth--disinclined to activity or exertion: not energetic or vigorous

Couldn't you have gotten off your rear and gotten some candy like everyone else? No? Fine, just leave the bowl out on the porch with the sign "Please take one" and watch your Netflix. 

5. Wrath--strong vengeful anger or indignation

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This is no joke. Just because someone else has the same costume as you or your kid does, this is no reason to start raging around at the Halloween party and ruin the fun for everyone.

6. Envy--painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage

So your neighbor's baby in Nob Hill started holding his head up and rolling over sooner than your baby. And now--he's even got a better costume than your kid. Forget it.  Envy will get you nowhere. Go online, order an overnight delivery of a ridiculously expensive baby Halloween costume that you would never be able to afford unless you were out of your mind (as you are now), and that may do the trick.

7. Pride--inordinate self esteem

So we dress up our pets in Albuquerque. Does that make us better than anyone else in the US on Halloween?  (And have you ever asked your dog or cat if he or she wants to suffer this humiliation?)