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Breaking Bad Tour Bus, Albuquerque, 2013. Image via Rex Features.  

Shit Burqueños Hate About Out of Towners

Now, before you get your panties in a twist and cancel your trip to our Land of Enchantment, let us just clarify how much we truly enjoy our out of town guests (and their money).

With that said, here is a partial list of our biggest out-of-towner pet peeves.

Enjoy. 

Have You Tried Blue Meth?

No. Have you? 

Look, we love our Candy Lady. She's basically a genius and has been since she conceived her back room naughty candy collection, which has nothing to do with drugs. 

We applaud her home grown ingenuity and her fun take on a local (okay, national) phenomenon, blue meth candy. 

Sorry to disappoint, but we still don't know where to find this mythical blue meth that tourists go on and on about. 

And let's be honest. If we did - why would we share it with you? 

"What's Green Chile?"

Sigh. 

Fair-weather Balloon Fiesta Friends

Each year since 1972, Albuquerque welcomes locals and also tourists who congregate to our fair city from the far reaches of the globe to celebrate hot air balloon enthusiasts at their finest.

Our most recent Balloon Fiesta boasted 800,000 plus attendees. 

That is, at least, until after the Special Shapes or Glodeo events have come and gone. 

At this point, many of our out-of-town guests abandon Balloon Fiesta Park in favor of widely touted travel destinations, such as Santa Fe.

Verdict? How rude.

Dress Like a Native?

Just no. 

What is SO Fascinating?

Maybe you haven't heard, but New Mexican drivers were recently ranked the absolute worst in the nation

Pure speculation here - could it be that our crazy freeway antics and late night pedestrian injuries occur because slow cruising out-of-town drivers decide to stop in the middle of the road to take a picture of a roadrunner? 

Google it people. They all look the same, ok?

Albuquerque does NOT equal Nob Hill

Westside!

Roadside Turquoise

Faux Turquoise Pendant. Via Liz Jewelry

Don't lie. 

You stopped at one of those gas station/tourist gift shops in or around Flagstaff and purchased an overpriced piece of faux turquoise jewelry.

We understand. You want to fit in with Albuquerque's Old Town crew. 

That's cool, but maybe next time, buy local. We're the real deal. 

Crazy Cowboy Hats

Via ClownAntics

Why? 

Do You Speak English?

New Mexico's two official languages are English and Spanish. 

This does not account for the plethora of Native American languages or New Mexico specific Spanish dialects. 

Do we speak English? 

It depends on what you're asking. 

Shit Burque os (New Mexicans) Say

We finally compiled all the weird things that people who live in Albuquerque say. Let us know if we missed anything. Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/blackouttheatre Website: http://www.blackouttheatre.com