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11 New Mexico Cliches We Are So Damn Tired Of Hearing

By DukeCity 01/30/2015

Albuquerque News

It's inevitable. You've done it before. When someone says that they are from a faraway land, at least one person around them makes it known that they imagine them to be from a fantastical place inhabited by crude, essentialized caricatures and subaltern yahoos. When you're from New Mexico, which is conveniently located between Arizona and Texas, the state-sized blind spot of your fellow citizens can be exasperating. It's even worse when their caricatures are spot on.

"Do you speak Spanish?"

The vine speaks for itself.

"So, like, are you here on a visa?"

When you're outside the Land of Enchantment and you tell someone where you're from, odds are they will mistake the state for the sovereign nation to the south, either because they don't know better, or because they're a smart-aleck. New Mexico has been a state since 1912!

"You guys wear cowboy boots and bolo ties all the time, right?"

http://www.rods.com/lucchese-ladies-full-quill-ostrich-boots.html

Only to formal events.

"Have you ever met a Native American?"

https://www.facebook.com/indianpueblo/photos/a.439964576754.234930.65392431754/10150169711456755/?type=1&theater

Yes, Native Americans are our neighbors, co-workers, classmates, friends, and family. Exoticising groups of people because of their heritage is pretty messed up.

"Do you guys have internet out there?"

http://grimelords.tumblr.com

We have so much internet. Most of the state has internet, even in the large swaths of land where there are barely any people. For proof, check out this map.

"Do you guys buy all your home and garden stuff at Jackalope?"

http://www.chuckstoyland.com/potpourri/jackalope postcards/

What? That's preposterous! Where the heck did you get that idea? But, yeah, mostly.

"It snows? Isn't it like really hot?"

Yes! Both! We go from 0 to 100 real quick.

"Seriously though, you guys have internet, right?"

http://www.nmmagazine.com/article/?aid=78298

According to New Mexico Magazine, "While in Albuquerque one weekend, Nell Lindenmeyer decided to listen to Pandora on her iPhone. But when she attempted to load Pandora, the attached screen grab showed an “error” message; with her friend’s cell phone they captured the message for posterity."

"Do you drive a low-rider?"

Definitely not. Although my dad had a Monte Carlo back in '88. Come to think of it, why don't I drive a low rider?

"Have you ever met an alien?"

http://pizzatime.tumblr.com

Well, one time, but was in one of those dreams you have after you eat a whole pepperoni and green chile pizza.

"Is it anything like Breaking Bad?"

Yes. We have super-talented oncologists, many suburbs and scenic vistas, national laboratories, and all the young people wear JNCOs. Come on! Visit our majestic state! Learn about our culture, and buy plenty of kitschy knick-knacks in the tourist areas.